Maybe both teams will be disqualified for…..steroids?……

By Kyle Bauer

Right now the Colts are finishing off the Jets. It really is a shame. I would have loved to watch Rex Ryan’s fat-ass eat a trail of fried chicken from Indianapolis to Mia….errr….”South Florida.”

Coming up next is the prime time event that so many are looking forward too.



Uggggggggggh. This is a worst case scenerio. While I HATE gun-toting rednecks and I love Prince, there is still the one variable that prevents me from rooting for the Vikings. You know who it is. Favre. Fucking Brett Favre.

No, not under any circumstance or capacity could I ever cheer for Brett Favre to go to the Superbowl (ok, well if Favre played for the Lions or I bet like a shit-ton of money on him) . It is in my moral fibers as a fan that this man and the unwarranted hype manchine be stopped. All week I have had to hear about the “40 YEAR OLD VERSION” today it has to stop.

While I am predicting the Vikings to win off of the strength of their offensive and defensive lines, still I am hoping that rednecks everywhere will be gathering to fire off their “gen-u-wine smithinwesen” at their televisions. I hope after tonight every young cajun-neck (hybrid of backwood bayou Cajun and southeastern redneck) boy will have become a “man” after opening fire at his first television/squirell in celebration/dinner. I hope after tonight, there is not a television left in the Bayou.  I hope after tonight there will not be a titty left unexposed in the French Quarter. I hope after tonight all the beignet’s, po-boy’s and hurricane’s are consumed in a celebratory bounty and the number of heart attack victims in New Orleans sky-rockets!

….Well ok, I hope no one dies of course.

To spite Brett Favre, I hope with everything I have the Saints take it tonight. Think of it. We would hear about Kiln, Mississippi. We would hear about the ’97 SuperBowl. If Favre wins, it would be a non-stop nightmare, FOREVER.

Unfortunately if the Saints win, we might hear the stolen phrase “Bless You Boys.”

Either way I lose tonight. But if I am going to lose, I’m going to lose with the Saints. I mean… win with them? I confused myself.


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