THE RETURN.

By Kyle Bauer

Yes folks, I, Kyle Bauer, am back. Am I back for good? Maybe. But I have returned to take this blog off of life support but not in a Terri Shiavo way. I am here to resuscitate. You need to forgive me one last time as the excuses will flow, I have been going through a stressful period of inner-personal politics and something that still haunts me as the meager college student that I am; FINALS. I was also away in Las Vegas on business for a brief period of time.

All that is in the past now, as I am ready to embark on a summer that will hopefully bare witness to the Red Wings pulling their nuts out of the fire and the Tigers grabbing any mirror they can find while using every plume of smoke to blind their opponent on the way to a pennant race. Maybe, juuuuuuust maybe, the Lions are actually getting it together and there will be a contiuous march upward Mt. Zeroandsixteen. I guess I am inclined to reference the Pistons existence. We could have a high lottery pick coming up for them. Are there any Siberian seven-footers out there?

Tonight, I suppose I will start with the draft. More specifically, I am going to lay out my thoughts on the most controversial pick for the Lions and that would be California running back Jahvid Best.

I know Jim Schwatz apparently masturbates to Best’s highlight videos on You Tube. Quite odd. Actually, let me deviate for a couple here, Schwartz stalked Vanden Bosch’s house and refused to leave until he signed, then he said that he is aroused by Jahvid Best…… I like Schwartz’ behavior a lot. It’s that type of sick imbalance that makes up an evil genius, in life and on the football field.

But digressing back to my point. I’m concerned about the Best pick. If you listen to two out of the past three programs, I mentioned my fears of Best due to all of his injury issues. Yes, I know that Adrian Peterson was injury plagued in college and now he leads running backs in fumbles. I know Ernie Sims had seven concussions at Florida State and then he was good for one year. There have been many players that have recovered from an injury riddled college tenure. Best’s combine, and numbers in college when healthy, suggest that he can be a prolific back in the NFL. Three surgeries and multiple concussions leave a muddied track record that leaves me extremely nervous.

Let’s do the math folks,

Lions first round draft pick (- upside)+injury plagued running back+ Lions offensive line+ unproven sophomore quaterback+ CURSE OF BOBBY LANE= Jahvid Best starting in no more than 30 games before retiring or being released due to concussion and/or joint issues.

I liked Jahvid Best in college. I guess you could say that I still like him. Really, I cant hold his injuries against him, especially the second concussion. That doesn’t mean that I cannot be cynical or concerned about his durability. If he stays healthy, he should be electric. The only way Best wont succeed is because of injuries, not his lack of talent. Hopefully I am wrong, because if I am, he will be a 1,600 + yard all purpose threat.

This is a huge gamble considering that the Lions alternatives are; Aaron Brown, who has shown potential but was actually benched due to his inability to figure out the playbook. Maurice (Mercury tehehehe) Morris, who looked serviceable especially later in the season as an all-purpose threat, but still slow. Kevin Smith, who is fighting a knee injury and looked slower than the film director Kevin Smith beforehand.

If Best doesn’t pan out, the Lions remain looking at another position devoid of talent. This of course is scoffing at the idea of the Lions other three backs ‘FINDING LIGHTING IN A BOTTLE’ and suddenly becoming legit yardage threats. I was actually hoping the Lions would draft LeGarrette Blount in the final round with one of their three picks or sign him as a free agent. Instead the Titans signed him to no-doubt replace Hungry-Hungry-Lendale White as the bowling ball back in short-yardage situations. While Blount has character questions and ran a slow 40 time, he would still be another body at that position, along with the chip on his shoulder he would be carrying into any camp.

Hopefully everything works out at least with this pick. I am not in the minority to say this pick will have as big of a lasting impact as Suh. If the Lions hit on Best, it very well could be the turning point in this franchise to get them at least back to mediocrity.

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Jose Canseco making an ass of himself on Twitter

By Kyle Bauer

JoseCanseco – “Hey bye the way there’s no crying in baseball”  …..That ‘e’ is probably not a typo.

 “I don’t use any illegal drugs or illegal bats and will challenge anyone to a hr hitting competition come to los angeles”  ….I would soooooo challenge Canseco to a home run competition. I just need money for plane tickets and roids.

“Don’t be jealous haters just cause ur wifes and girlfriends r masterbating to my picture” …. ………………………………

Jose Canseco making an ass of himself on Twitter

For a while we have had a running segment on the site entitled “Athletes Making Asses of themselves on Twitter” well now I have decided to change it to “Jose Canseco making an ass of himself on Twitter”

The best two from this week-

Jose Canseco“People I am not rich all of my money went to friends,x wifes,family members,bad investments,irs,and helping out strangers,and attorneys”

-Today

“The shits gonna hit the fan real soon. Stay tooned”

3 days ago

The tweets speak for themselves.

Ron Washington believes in the powder game

 

By Kyle Bauer

Today Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington held a press conference to announce that he failed an MLB drug test for cocaine.

I don’t have too many silly jokes about this. Really the best joke I had I used up in the headline. This does open a window for me to finally get out my belief that Ron Washington is the BLACK JIM LEYLAND.

Maybe it’s just the mustaches. Maybe it’s just the old. Maybe it’s just the addiction; Leyland with cigarettes and Washington with cocaine. But they even preach similar styles, philosophically relying on the three-run-homerun. Both teams are void of consistent pitching and heavy on slow power hitters. To me, it’s kind of eerie.

Even the Rangers and Tigers copied the ‘have the youngest pitcher in the bullpen carry a pink backpack’ gimmick.

I really believe these men are in some way related. Hopefully Leyland doesnt fail a drug-test anytime soon.

How Real Deal spends his birthday

Neal joins Fox Sports Radio Pittsburgh 970 to talk about Oaklands matchup againa Pitt in the tourney

Today is Neal’s birthday. I can’t remember exactly, he’s like somewhere in the range of 30 and 33. Either way birthdays are exciting, so be sure to track down his facebook and wish him happy birthday. Neal LOVES when random people wish him happy birthday on Facebook.

The Knicks are 3-8 with him in the line-up

 

That’s a perennial loser this guy is, and I’m tired of it! – Neal Ruhl on Tracy McGrady

Will the RDOS be ‘LACING UP THEIR DANCING SHOES’?

By Kyle Bauer

The site will return to full activity later today with the reemergence of “Real Deal on Headlines” to catch up on all the sports news that I have failed to cover in the past few days.

I also plan on introducing a new feature that I am hoping you guys will enjoy later this week, likely on Friday.

Until then, it is a big day for the RDOS intermediate family. As most of you know, we reside out of Oakland University and they will be playing for a chance to ‘PUNCH THEIR TICKET’ to ‘THE BIG DANCE’ against IUPUI (Indiana University of Pennsylvania Unified Intelligence?) tonight.

You can tune in to 88.3fm Auburn Hills if you are if you are north of M-59 from Chesterfield Township to Metamora, which includes Romeo, Lake Orion, Rochester, Utica, Auburn Hills and Pontiac. Or if you are by a computer, take the sure route and go to www.wxou.org where you can stream the coverage live. I will be hosting a pre-game show from 8 to 9pm, featuring an interview with Neal to open up at 8:05.

You can also go back to 88.3fm/wxou.org for your half-time and post-game coverage, where I will also be anchoring.

Neal will be on 1130am WDFN Detroit Sports Talk giving color commentary with Mario Impemba on the call. So listen to him on WDFN and listen to good ol’ Avocado on WXOU for your pre, half and post-game coverage of the Summit League tournament final and see if Oakland will be ‘DANCING’.

As far as Mikey P. goes, I believe he will be working and chowing down at Sign of the Beef Carver.