3-11-2010

OU Senior Derrick Nelson talks to RDOS, The Lions take free agency by storm!!!

Why ESPN won’t cover the Big Ben mess lick Mike Vick or Kobe, Hockeytown 1995-2010, Real Deal on Society: Mail in Rebates

Interview with Detroit Lions safety Louis Delams

Louis Delmas interview with the Real Deal on Sports about his rookie season in the NFL and his charity We R Love that is holding a benefit for Haiti, February 27th at Bookies Bar in Detroit.

“I hate Ladainian Tomlinson, like people hate cancer.” -Neal Ruhl

By Kyle Bauer

Well originally I had planned on writing a scathing prose commemorating how absolutely bad this decade has been for the Lions  juxtaposed against the Cardinals but I get lazy, real lazy. Maybe I’ll eventually write that piece but why do such a thing when multiple must-watch sports related You Tube videos come up.

Ladainian Tomlinson. Ohhhhh LT, LT, LT….Normally I would appreciate an athlete doing something so cheesy and ridiculous, you know, like in the vain of Chris Cooley. Instead I will not give him credit. No LT, this doesnt save you from the rath of the Real Deal on Sports, especially when this Sunday, you’re going to have Darren Sproles bail you out after you get toxic shock from your tampon. I know this is your idea of having fun and being loose and you’re trying to be silly like the 1985 Bears but nooooooooooo, that doesnt fly with your history, your legend of playoff softness. Retire or get a meaningful touchdown in the playoffs, one or the other. Don’t make silly videos, thinking that you’re going to lighten peoples criticism of you around this time of year and pundits such as Neal and I feasting on your dying career.

Once again, for the record, had anyone else done this video, I would had praised it. Especially since this is done in a Eric Wareheim directorial style. He may have actually directed it, but I do not have official confirmation.

Next up, we have Ditka.

At the Real Deal on Sports, we love Ditka, almost as much as we hate LT.  Here is a clip of him begrudgingly doing a post-game interview for a local Chicago station. Even after a win, he want’s nothing to do with the media. In classic Ditka fashion, he curses, argues and generally doesnt take shit. But the host, reitred CBS sports anchor Johnny Morris stands up to Ditka and stands him down. Although his hair style should be brought into question. Just wait for the special surprise at the end.

LT- video courtesy of Deadspin

Ditka video courtesy of Kap’s corner

I have a bad feeling about tomorrow.

By Kyle Bauer

I’m already back from my suspension, after Neal and I pulled guns on eachother at the RDOS practice compound. Hey, I’m not his punk!

I’m scared. Very scared.

The Lions have a chance to possible land the number one pick in the draft that will grab them Ndamakong Soh, Russel Okung, Bruce Campbell, Trent WilliamsTaylor Mays or Eric Berry. While all those players are believed to be NFL ready impact players, Soh is expected to be an immediate pro-bowler. Russel Okung would be a nice number two pick.

What scares me is that the Lions are playing in a game that they need to lose against a very soft team. They are playing at home against Jay Cutler. The Bears have nothing to play for. The Lions can lose and stay in the top two of the draft. If they win, they could get bounced down to fifth. Likely the Lions will hang at two in the draft. Even without Brandon Marshall, I still see the Broncos beating the Chiefs, and the Falcons who also do not have anything to play for should still beat the Bucs in Tampa. But the Lions…. the Lions… the Lions love to fuck anything they can up anyway possible. The Bears love to lay down, like Jay Cutler after he forgets to take his insulin.

My ‘BOLD ASS PREDICTION’

Bears- 12 

Lions- 16  

Yes, the Lions  be fired up and charge out onto Ford Field in front of a sell-out crowd and take advantage of an apathetic Bears team while Dan Miller has a verbal orgasm. The Lions will tell you how big this win is. Dominic Raiola will get in your face if you dare bring up the fact that the Lions blew a shot at the number one pick or possibly a top four pick.  The slaps will go dancing through the streets and proclaim “NEW DECADE, NEW LIONS!!!!!”

NO! THE LIONS MUST GO 2006 CELTICS AND PURPOSELY TANK THIS FUCKING GAME. THEY HAVE TO! A LIONS WIN WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE.

It would only be Lions logic that they win this game. It would only be NFL logic that they win this game.

Be afraid, very afraid. Tomorrow is a huge day for this franchise.

THE RDOS KARMA IS A BITCH.

By Kyle Bauer

THE SAINTS LOSE! THE SAINTS LOSE! THHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEE SAAAAAAAAAAAINTS LOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their redneck fans shot up a TV in celebration. They tried to mess with Detroit. Now they’re falling apart.

The Saints choked against the Buccaneers, leading 17-10, when Michael Spurlock had a 77 yard punt return at the two-minute warning. New Orleans charged back down the field but they managed to choke again! Kicker Garrett Hartley missed a makeable 37 yard field goal. In overtime the Saints folded like a tent in a hurricane and the Bucs Conor Barth sealed the upset with a 47 yard field goal.

Not only is this good because I have officially declared the Saints and their fan base fraudulent and evil but this has positive implications for the Lions and their draft position. The Lions are in a spot, assuming they lose out, that they will draft second behind the Rams. The Rams are in dire need for a quarterback and possibly might not take Ndamkong Suh. If the Rams pull an upset against Arizona or beat the 49ers, which is possible since neither of those teams have anything to play for, the Lions will have the number one pick.

Could the most embarrassing loss in Lions history end up being a positive?

Naw, the Lions will fuck this up somehow. The cynicism is an old bit, but so is three wins in three years.

Real Deal on Headlines

by Mike Parsons

What?! Why am I writing the Real Deal on Headlines? I’m just the board operator, I don’t even watch sports! Good question; since Kyle put together the best of while afflicted with the swine flu and a broken coccyx and Neal is spending the holidays with his wife and kids it falls on me this week. So um here it goes.

Ocho Cinco

For the most part I have no idea why people even bother to put athlete interviews on air, whether it be TV or radio. Is there anything more painfully boring than listening to some montone meat head recite the same tired script with such gems as “gotta give it 110%” “Take it one game at a time” “Our opponents are a quality team, anyone can beat anyone any given game” or describing mundane feats as “pretty special.” Chad Ocho Cinco’s quotes and wacky antics are a breath of fresh air. Nobody hates an attention whore more than me but for some reason I get the impression he’s not doing it for the attention. He does it because he is so much better than everyone else on the field he’s no longer challenged by the game of football and needs to find other ways to entertain himself.

Brian Kelly

Speaking of Cincinnati and rising stars on the tweetspace I still can’t help but to feel like this guy sold out. The realist in me fully expected Kelly to make the leap to the Irish;  but the child in me still believed in Christmas miracles and held onto the hopes he would stay at Cincy and build the program into a national powerhouse. How is anyone supposed to build a football program when all the coaches flee to some slap ass program with deep pockets the minute their contracts are up? For once I would love to see a coach tell UM or Notre Dame, thanks but no thanks, I like what we’ve started, good luck with your declining legacy. I’m not saying I hope Brian Kelly fails, but if he goes the way of the Willingham, I wouldn’t be disapointed.

Matt Millen

Sure it was a stupid move by the Lions to hire a guy to run the football team because he was good at color commentary and sure it was even stupider for them to hang onto him for the better part of a decade; but seriously people it’s just football, get over it.  Nobody likes to watch their home team lose game after game but the calls I heard after the 0-16 season on sports talk radio made me pity these people. My favorite was one slap dick who said he hopes the lions “take this season to their grave.” There are people out there who want Matt Millen dead or banned from the state of Michigan, that’s not even constitutional! Like I said people, it’s just football, go spend time with your family.

 Slap Ass Announcers

Like Kyle often says Detroit is very lucky when it comes to our announcers. On my way to work I was listening to a little Sports News Radio and instead of getting my daily fill of inspiration from David Stein the network was airing the “Sports Year in Review.” I heard more nationwide slaposity in the November segment than in a year of OSU vs UM Saturdays. The play by play team’s job is to describe the game, not to become the spectacle itself. Alot of broadcasters are employees of the team and they are paid to be slaps to a certain degree but exclaiming “THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN” or screaming “YES” repeatedly like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally gets a bit tired and sounds contrived.

Merry Christmas everyone! Remember he is the reason for the season….unless your Jewish.

 

Athletes making asses of themselves on Twitter Vol. 2

By Kyle Bauer

This is a new series on the site, highlighting some of the best tweets by athletes who have used Twitter as a site to further feed their already massive egos and needlessly promote themselves.

Today is Chad Ochocinco. I am a huge fan of Ochocinco. Why? Because I love original characters. People who are not scared to be proud and be different. Seriously, how awesome is Ochocinco. He legally changes his name. Comes up with great celebrations and talks trash better than anyone in the league.

He should sen the league offices Pepto Bismol, instead he is sending them an apology letter….

OGOchoCinco-“Dear NFL League Office, @iamdiddy told me to be great, being great means having fun n celebrating. I’ve written a letter of apology to yall.”

Apparently Puff Daddy told him to do this, or just “be great” which Ochocinco interpreted as putting on the sombrero.

“@iamdiddy big bruh you told me to be great but the NFL keeps fining me!! I’m going to level 5 of greatness–going honeyglaze HAM now grrrr!”

There are many concepts about Ochocinco that intrigue me. Mainly his “levels of greatness.” He has ascended to level five, not sure what this entails. He is trying to get his own brand of condoms, but he should really detail his “levels of greatness” and release a book. I guess “honeyglaze HAM” holds high reverence in his heart. Also like how often he uses “grrr” thats cute.

Another concept of Ochocinco is the league wide pandemic of “H8N5” aka “Swag Flu.” Apparently Ochocinco has been reeling from it lately.

“WAMW face has been applied as I head to the stadium for the first practice of the week,H8N5 won’t allow me to think straight!Swagg Flu sucks”

This was just in the past day. Ochocinco is already in the Twitter Hall of Fame.

 

What a surprise, the Lions got blown out again….

By Kyle Bauer

Read part 2 of 3 of “A 3 day man fest! Or rather fest for men!”

“Today is part 2 of this 3 part blog celebrating the marriage of sports and Thanksgiving. Today of course is the big day and right now as I’m typing this, the Lions are being destroyed again. At the end of the third quarter, the Lions are down 27 to 7. Pathetic. Glad to see our hero, Matt Stafford is in the midst of another affirming performance. Sorry folks, unfortunately for both you the fan, and Stafford, the Lions can’t play the Browns every week.”

New blog on the tradition of sports and Thanksgiving

By Kyle Bauer

A three day man fest! Or rather fest for men! Pt. 1 of 3

I typed in "Red Wings Night before Thanksgiving" into Google Image and
I got this....it works. Wonder who Dave Coulier spends
Thanksgiving with?

 

Real Deal on Headlines

By Kyle Bauer

That is a very stupid title to a new feature on the site that is going to rotate between Neal and I but more times than not, it will be me.
Were going to recap some of the more interesting sports stories in the news over the past couple days, surmised in a paragraph or two.

Lions win,  turnaround suddenly imminent.

I always felt the truest testament to how delusional Lions fans are, surprisingly does not rest in all the 10 win preseason predictions, but in how they react to a win. Well, then again, the Lions have shown that wins in a season are not guaranteed so I guess I can understand the excitement and jubilation when they actually do. People seem to forget that the Lions are still the Lions and they beat the Browns who are still the Browns. It was a game mired in befuddling bad defense, and some horrible coaching calls. Matt Stafford suddenly gets it together for a few drives and everyone goes nuts.

The people who have been anointing Matt Stafford after this victory bother me the most. He did a great job finally channeling some NFL caliber accuracy on that final drive. Still he didnt show the composure I would appreciate considering the Lions should had spiked the ball multiple times. I suppose Schwartz didnt want to make that call, sensing momentum and wanting to keep Cleveland on the ropes.  It was still unorthodox and would had been costly if it werent for the pass-interference call.

 

The most troubling thing about peoples sudden love fest for Stafford is that he has already been severely injured twice in a season that is barely half over. A separated knee cap and then a separated shoulder in only eight starts is extremely concerning to me. A mantra you will always hear on our show is that “part of being good, is the ability to stay healthy.” You need to be durable, and accurate on a consistent basis. Stafford’s performance had some undeniable bright spots, but for me, the jury is without a doubt still out on his intangibles.

Jimmy Clausen punched outside of South Bend bar.

This doesnt surprise me. Look at this guy, wouldnt you want to punch him in the face too?

Jimmie Johnson wins fourth consecutive Sprint Cup

As I have proclaimed many times before, I am a kinda-sorta a NASCAR fan. I am not going to lie, I was raised on it, almost as an inadvertent form of child abuse. As the years have gone by, my interest has wained more and more, almost to the point where I no longer care. I check in on the races weekly, but the only time I still watch a race from flag to flag, is when I go to both races at Michigan International Speedway with my dad every year.

The reasons why I have lost interest is not because I no longer enjoy the idea of auto-racing, it is because NASCAR has become ridiculously dull. Races have become relatively predictable. I have said time and time before in my defense of NASCAR, that is it not always “just cars going in a circle” and most races have exciting, back and forth, three-wide racing. Now more than ever, as it is being publicized more than ever, the racing has become “just cars going in circles.” Competition in NASCAR is dead.

 Jimmie Johnson is the one driver that you could argue being responsible for the death of excitement in NASCAR. He is in the midst of a true dynasty but instead of being able to enjoy his domination, I’ve been left yawning instead of ‘aweing’. Methodically, he qualifies in the top five, finishes in the top five or wins every race. He races clean, without controversy and seemingly without passion. NASCAR is such a dehumanized sport, you could easily argue that  the car does everything. To debunk this argument, you want to have a champion with flash and integrity. Petty, Yarborough, Waltrip, Gordon, Stewart and especially Earnhardt all had it. It was so easy to root for the character in the car, but there is no character in the man who has won the past four championships. I can’t fault Johnson for this. He is the Tim Duncan of auto-sports. Johnson is only being himself, doing what he does best but doing it quietly.

I respect him, but his dominance is making me lose respect for NASCAR.

Mangino is large, soon not in charge.

Kansas football coach Mark Mangino has been on the hot-seat as of late and  not because he accidentally sat on his order from Papa Johns (I dont know Mangino just seems like he likes Papa Johns, a lot). He has become embattled over rumors of getting physical with players at practice and official accusations of being verbally abusive and more importantly, they have lost six games in a row.

Recently wide receiver Kerry Meier and safety Darnell Stucky have come to the defense of Mangino saying his actions have been understandable and they way he has handled the accusations have been inspirational.

This likely wont save Mangino, as the program he built from the ground up to a Orange bowl win a couple years ago, has now crumbled, despite All-American quarterback Todd Reesings efforts. Kansas has a decent chance at beating a Missouri team that has been equally disappointing and soft, but winning the rivalry game still might not be enough unless more Kansas players openly support him.

It really is a shame. Lets not forget the easy fat jokes Mangino brings to the table but also I am going to miss that pedophile mustache.