Ron Washington believes in the powder game

 

By Kyle Bauer

Today Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington held a press conference to announce that he failed an MLB drug test for cocaine.

I don’t have too many silly jokes about this. Really the best joke I had I used up in the headline. This does open a window for me to finally get out my belief that Ron Washington is the BLACK JIM LEYLAND.

Maybe it’s just the mustaches. Maybe it’s just the old. Maybe it’s just the addiction; Leyland with cigarettes and Washington with cocaine. But they even preach similar styles, philosophically relying on the three-run-homerun. Both teams are void of consistent pitching and heavy on slow power hitters. To me, it’s kind of eerie.

Even the Rangers and Tigers copied the ‘have the youngest pitcher in the bullpen carry a pink backpack’ gimmick.

I really believe these men are in some way related. Hopefully Leyland doesnt fail a drug-test anytime soon.

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No longer looking up.

By Kyle Bauer

Out of the blue. That is a good way to describe team USA’s run to the gold medal game on multiple ways. 

No, I’m not going to make this some overplayed fluff about how this stunning series of events is going to ‘uplift the country in a time of need’ because it wont. This is hockey, and we live in a country that for some reason, cares more about figure skating than the game, the country north of us lives through.

For me this is big though. I thought the USA had the potential to surprise some people, I have been saying that all along. By that I meant maybe bronze. Never did I figure it would culminate to this point. That is part of what makes this great. Unlike some, I consider USA hockey a home team. A team that I will root as hard for as the Red Wings in game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. Tomorrow is game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals in a sense, and thankfully Maxime Talbot just wasnt quite good enough to make team Canada. 

Whether I should or shouldnt, well I shouldnt, but I do live through the Tigers, Red Wings and every four years USA hockey. In a year that has seen the Lions continue their anemic ways, the Pistons reaching new lows in my lifetime, and the Red Wings staring up to missing the playoffs for the first time since I was two, USA hockey is saving me. Call that pathetic but that is the way I roll. 

For the United States, that many people might not care, especially in the grand scheme of things. What I look at in the big picture perspective is if these occurences inspire say 60 kids from various parts of this country to start watching and playing the game, then they fall in love with it the same way I did. If some 10 year old kid from Kentucky, watches the game rooting hard for the country he was socialized to root for, more than the team, he watches Patrick Kane score an awe-inspiring goal. He then goes to Wal-Mart and recognizes Kane on the cover on NHL 2010 with that stupid mouthguard hanging out. Recalling cheering for USA hockey in the olympics, he buys the game with his mothers credit card, giving her a nasty overage charge with 22% interest, but finding a different kind of interest in a game that was previously foreign to him.

My point wading through all this cheese is that USA being in this game, with new stars like Zach Parise, Patrick Kane, Ryan Kessler, Paul Stastny and Ryan Miller can only add intrigue and help grow the great game, that I so painfully watch be neglected at an astonishing level.

This may be “Canada’s game” ask a Canadian and they’ll tell you that, then you can punch their arrogant ass, but the US is coming up fast. This was a team that was not expected to compete for another four years. They weren’t supposed to beat Canada, let alone play them close. With the big win in the World Juniors, and the continuing presence of Hockey East, the CCHA, USHL and american players getting a fair shot in the CHL, USA hockey is an awoken giant. The program fell stagnant in the first half of the decade. A new breed of quick, powerful, creative, exciting american hockey player has ascended, and letting Canada know that they have company, not on the horizon but here, now.

While popularity of the game in this country is still in the sewer, it is slowly climbing back to the surface. Increased television ratings for stars like the afore-mentioned Kane, Parise and Miller and then Crosby, Ovechkin and Datsyuk are a positive sign. People in Detroit may hate Crosby but he is gaining viewers for the NHL and no one should hate that. This is the most exciting hockey has been since the height of its popularity in the late 80’s through the mid-90’s. If USA wins tomorrow, there may be actually a base for that win to build on in regards to growing the game, unlike the stale team that had a shot at gold in 2002 during a stale era for hockey.

The USA can win tomorrow by doing all the little things right. An early goal, a strong forecheck, getting in Canada’s shooting lanes, holding their line and owning the front of the net. But if they win, I believe they will be doing a big thing for my competitive psyche and a little thing for gaining respect as a sport in this country. At this point even a little thing is big to the USA hockey program.

Athletes Making Asses out of Themselves on Twitter

By Kyle Bauer

This installment is as good as it gets.

Today we have Jose Canseco. I dont need to fill you in on Jose. His well noted public actions have filled you in enough.

JoseCanseco– I am at fitness unlimited working out 16836 devonshire st granada hills great gym come by and check it out.

WHY THE FUCK DONT I LIVE…..where ever….JOSE IS LIVING!? I WANT TO WATCH HIM WORKOUT SOOOOOO BAD!!!!

Seriously, would anything be better than watching Jose Canseco squat 560 pounds rocking a gold chain and a pair of Zoobas Pants?

Athletes making asses of themselves on Twitter

Today is Floyd Landis

The Real FlyodLShit! Fuck LNDD Fuck USADA Fuck J.Papp Fuck P.McQuaid Fuck T.Tygart and Fuck You!

…Possibly a hack but I doubt it.

I don’t know if this is connected to his recent issues or if he’s having ‘ROID RAGE’ but this is the greatest tweet ever.

51 days ago he posted this,

Planning something for 2010 that will change the cycling world forever!

 

Doubt it Flyod, doubt it.

This winner of the Real Deal on Sports Photoshop contest….

 

Is Sparty!

For this asstastic entry

He wins two tickets to see the Buffalo Sabres defeat the Red Wings, March 13th 7pm at Joe Louis Arena.

He also will receive a prized copy of Cool Runnings on VHS in honor of the Winter Olympics

Stay tuned for more RDOS contests and more great prizes to go with them!

Sparty, email me at kbauer83@yahoo.com for information on how to claim your prize!

The return of athletes making asses of themselves on twitter.

By Kyle Bauer

It’s baaaaaaack! After a hiatus from this popular feature, we return today with Vikings Offensive Lineman Bryant McKinnie.

Last week, I read a feature on McKinnie, and his behavior during the festivities at the Superbowl. Apparently McKinnie is so out of control, he was originally elected to the pro-bowl but was axed because the league was unable to get in contact with him to let him know in time!

His antics are best captured in an article by ESPN honk Dan Le Batard in the Miami Herald

The article referenced a rather confusing relationship that the NFL star has garnered with washed up whore and ex-convict Lil Kim.

The following post will leave you even more confused.

bigmacvikingsProducers while I still have Lil Kim with me send me some hot tracks. We been going thru songs all day. We went thru some last nite as well.

So uh is Bryant McKinnie starting a rap career and Lil Kim is producing for him?
Is he producing for Lil Kim?
Is she humoring him?
Is he simply listening to music and completely misinterpreting what Lil Kim’s purpose for him there was?
Well I know for sure he is banging her and he will have hepatitis soon…..and not the ‘good’ kind either….

McKinnie is becoming a hero of mine. Not only is he rapping and/ or producing with Lil Kim but you’ll see if you scroll further through his page, he is also attempting a tennis match vs. Venus Williams. Bryant McKinnie is proving to not only be a superior offensive lineman and partyer but a renaissance man.

The only thing left for him to do is attend hockey games with Rex Ryan.

He’s wearing a Big Dogs shirt everybody. A BIG DOGS SHIRT!